Sometimes The Perfect Moment Is Now
“Yesterday is ashes; tomorrow wood. Only today the fire shines brightly”
Eskimo Proverb
A few days ago we got some very sad news. It was totally unexpected and very painful. That day I felt empty and rather lost, wondering what our next steps were going to be. It’s not often I feel this way. I struggled with rather deep depression as a youth, but have worked most of my adult life on the active pursuit of happiness and consider myself, on the most, to be a very positive and joyous person. But sometimes unexpected obstacles come our way and you’re forced to face sad things and experiences you would rather not.
I realize I’m rambling and not being very specific. This is a very personal issue and maybe one day I’ll be ready to share more, but for the moment the act of writing about my feelings are the best I can do. The point of all this is that it got me thinking about waiting for the perfect moment. We all fall into this trap, this idea that there will be a “perfect” time for something or another to happen, a “perfect” occasion, the “perfect” combination of space and events. And as much as I try not to, I make this mistake too. These past few months things had seemed so “on track” that I fell right into that very daydream of perfection, only to have it all come crashing down in a single day. So that evening as I sat grieving I contemplated my life and decided to change my fate.
And for me that change came with the story of a bottle of wine.
You see we have a 17-year old bottle of fine wine (a Chateau Figeac 1995 – for wine connoisseurs you’ll that know that was a great year for Bordeaux’s) that we’ve been carrying around ever since I bought it for Paul’s 30th birthday many (many) years ago. It travelled from Belgium to the USA, sat in a wine cabinet for many years, and then transferred to our RV, all the while aging, refining itself and waiting for that perfect occasion to be opened.
Which of course never came.
Until a few days ago.
That evening I looked at my day and at that wine and decided the perfect moment was now. So with great ceremony we pulled out the bottle, opened it up and allowed the fine, liquid gold to flow into our glasses. Despite years of travel and neglect the wine had aged beautifully and it’s deep, rich bouquet opened in layer upon layer of aroma, like a flower unfolding its’ petals to the new day.
We sat back with our glasses, breathed in the soul of the wine and talked about everything that we’re grateful for in life. From the depths of a very dark day, I began to see the light and accept the fact that everything happens for a reason. The wine had been waiting for a long time, we had been waiting for a long time only to discover that the moment is what you make of it. It may still be some days before I recapture my usual bounce, but with focus and perseverance I know it will all work out. And although it may not seem like it, sometimes the perfect moment is now.
P.S. It’s a heavy post I know and rather cryptic too, but I appreciate being able to share these feelings on the blog. It’s all part of the healing process.
I raise a glass in toast with you as you sip in celebration of the The Perfect Moment.
Cheers to you too. Nina
You are so right the moment is now I will be pouring my self a glass of wine and will toast you and remember life doesn’t give you what you can’t handle! Guy
Thanks for the toast. Sure appreciate it. Nina
Nina,
I can imagine your sadness having personally lost a grandson in childbirth so my heart goes out to you in evry way possible. May the force be with you.
Oh my goodness. SO sorry for your loss! Thanks for sharing the good vibes. Nina
I’m so sorry you are having to deal with your sad news. Sometimes putting it out there in the universe lightens our load, I hope that is the case for you. I’m glad the wine was wonderful. 🙂
I do feel sharing is part of healing. Nina
With your beautiful talent for writing and sharing them you help us all who read your post. With your post I sincerely hope your healing process continues. Howard and I will make a toast tonight to “The Perfect Moment”. Hugs are being sent your way.
Thanks so much for the kind hugs 🙂 Nina
Nina,
Having lost our son, Eric, our only child, to a senseless murder in 2007, I can fully understand the impact that your loss is having upon you. We never know when fate will step in and alter everything we have, have planned for, and have dreamed of. The one thing we took from our experience is that, you either let it rule your life, or you put it behind you the best you can, and move on. We chose the later, and it has led us to the wonderful world of fulltime RVing, something that has proven to be our saving grace. Although our tragedy will always be with us, we have learned that there is a lot of truth in the old expression, ‘time heals all wounds’. It will heal yours too, but in the meantime you must accept and openly face the process of grieving your loss. Only after this, can you truely move forward. Your bottle of wine has opened the door for you. Drink deeply of it, enjoy, and cherish the path it will lead you along.
Sincerely,
Len & Laurie Schattler
Goodness. I have no words that could even come close to saying how sorry I feel about your loss. Your ability to share, overcome and move on is inspiring and humbling to me. Thank you for opening the light of a path to me. It’s going to take a little while, but you are both amazing inspirations.
Nina
I hope the words of those who care about you lift your spirits as you have lifted mine so many times. You’re in my thoughts.
Thanks so much! Nina
When the moment is right, you just have to do it. Sorry for your grief.
I do agree with that seniment. Nina
Whatever the news that has caused you pain, facing it together we feel certain you will heal. Having spent a little time with the two of you, we find you both to be very special, not just because of your beautiful writing and photography, but the essence of who you both are. We also agree that we should never wait for that perfect moment to do whatever but should make each moment just that and trying to live more in the present, embracing whatever life presents us, can make life more fruitful. We wish the best for both of you and will be sending good thoughts your way.
Thanks for the beautiful words, Lu! Nina
Nina, I hope you are finding the healing you need. I admire you for being able to find words for it. I was completely unable to write about the loss of my dad in January…I really still can’t. I believe in what you do, and also salute that perfect moment…especially when it happens at any time.
So sorry for your loss. Those who are close to us in life are forever with us after they pass, in our hearts and minds. I do believe that.
Nina
Sorry for your grief, Hope “time” is helping you feel better.
Regard, ann cabezas
ww.costaricalearn.com
Thank you. Time does heal all. Nina
Nina, Your words are always so powerful. I struggle every day to live in the ‘now’ – not wait for the ‘perfect’ time; the ‘perfect place’ etc. etc. Yesterday is indeed gone – and tomorrow may never come. Live in today.
I hope your heart grows lighter in the coming days.
Living in the “now” is something I think EVERYone struggles with. It’s the core of being human. So fear not that you are alone…we are all with you in that struggle. Nina
That “perfect moment” happens many times every day.
We hope you can get past and honor your grief quickly and get back to those perfect moments.
I doubt the dead or gone-away would want us to suffer on their part.
Indeed. Perfect moments happen everyday. Thanks for sharing! Nina
“When one door of hapiness closes, another opens, but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened for us.” Helen Keller
Praying sincerely that God will comfort you, sustain you, and give you hope in the coming days, weeks and months. We have enjoyed reading your blog and appreciate your beautiful photography.
SO true. There are many doors and many paths in life, and all have a purpose. It’s important to remember that. Nina
As you, we’ve gone through a few really tough times but you move on and learn to appreciate today for what it is, nothing more. I’m not a touchy-feely guy but this TED lecture might make you stop and think about what we have today, in this moment (along with some outstanding photography).
http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=gXDMoiEkyuQ&vq=medium
Thanks so much for the link. It was a beautiful video!
Nina
I’m sorry you are going through this. I know you will get through it, though. Know that we all wish you well and will be here waiting patiently whenever you are ready.
Thanks so much Linda. Nina
Depression can be a bear. This I know.
Thanks for sharing what you could.
The wine sounded awesome.
Take care.
Appreciate the kind words. And yes, the wine was awesome 🙂 Nina
Sis,
This is a beautiful post – and only shows why I always come to you for advice. All my love to you and Paul xx
Cheers Sis…always know you are there for me. Nina
You know, I really enjoy reading your posts, although I’m sorry this one’s tinged with sadness. I’d never have guessed you battle with depression – shows how upbeat you are.
Take care xo
Thanks Rosie. Depression is (happily) something that is many years behind me, but it’s still something that I work on everyday. I always say that happiness is like exercise…the more you do it the better it gets.
Nina
I’m so sorry that something so jarring had to intrude into your life. I can’t express words any better than some of the inspirational comments that were made. I only hope that time heals your grief, and thank you for sharing that bottle of wine with us along with your beautiful writing and photos.
Sure appreciate the kind thoughts. Nina
“Yesterday is history, Tomorrow a mystery, Today is a gift, That’s why they call it the present” – Anonymous
So sorry to hear you are going through such a rough time. Thank you for a sharing.
Today is indeed a gift. I do try to remember that everyday. Nina
You are strong, you will come out of this grieving even stronger. But for the now, allow yourself time, and perhaps another nice red wine to savor. Your post was a good start, and we were honored to be allowed to hold your hand this morning.
Thanks so much. I do believe each challenge makes us stronger. It sure hurts going through it, but we can always learn something at each step.
Nina
What a beautiful post you have done inspite of your pain. Paul and I have learned since full timing that there is no perfect moment. Every moment we get to see and share this wonderful country that God has given us IS the perfect moment.
We are parying that our Dear Lord gives you both comfort at this dark time in your lives. He knows your hurts and will bring healing! God Bless you both.
Beautiful words Marsha. Thank you so much! Nina
Sending you lots of positive energy.
I can only imagine what you must be going through… and I can only relate it to that day not too long ago I received news that send my world crashing down. I’ve still not been able to write about it much publicly, and I still struggle with picking the pieces back up and resuming an upbeat attitude.
Sure appreciate the positive vibes. My heart goes out to you with all that you’re going through with your own struggles. I know exactly how tough it is to pick up those pieces. Good vibes to you too.
Nina
We know the experience of being side swiped by tragedy when you were least expecting it. Hope this is not a “why me” sort of thing for you. I admire your attitude in taking control and bringing out a celebratory bottle of wine to toast your future happiness and all the great and perfect moments to come. Focusing on gratitude for what we do have has helped us many a time to try to see the light around us even with the giant dark cloud. You are brave to share this. I’m honored.
Yup, focusing on gratitude for what we DO have in life is so very important. Thanks for sharing those thoughts. Nina
Nina and Paul, so sorry to hear that you have received devastating news. As always, your blog is so very well done it enriches our lives, and hopefully this time sharing your sorrows cut them in half, and sharing your joys doubled them. Sending loving spirit to you and Paul.
Thanks so much for the loving and supportive thoughts! Nina
Hi Nina and Paul… sending you hugs and good wishes from Hong Kong. Take care… Samxxx
Thanks Sam! We still miss you guys. Nina
Wheelin It our thoughts and prayers go out to you as you work through the unexpected news. And that nice bottle of wine was there when you needed it most.
The wine certainly served a good purpose. I guess it was just waiting for the right moment. Nina
Sorry to catch the sad news, you are always in our thoughts and we send you all our love. Bo, Dani and Chloe
Thanks Bro. Love to you all too. Nina
Sending you love and light, and wishing you many more perfect moments. Take the time you need to heal from this sad news. Look for joy in all things.
Thank you for the love and the light! Nina
Just found (and signed up for) your blog. Good stuff, Maynard!
We live in Oceanside so we have all of what you’ve been blogging about at our disposal at any time. I got out here with the Navy 40 years ago and never left. In preparation for retirement we purchased a 30′ travel trailer in 2006. We got in a bunch of practice before I retired in 2009. In the six years we’ve had this trailer we’ve visited 40 states and two Canadian provinces!
Last week we finally had a satellite system installed, and to power it we had to have a solar system! In 10 days we’re headed to Zion NP to give it a thorough testing.
In 2010 we traveled once around the U.S. and kept a blog:
http://odyssey-2010.blogspot.com/2010/05/may-8-2010-day-one.html
Hopefully one day we can meet face-to-face.
Enjoy your trip! If you’re ever close you’re most welcome to come by for a chat.
Nina
Nina,
Trust in the Lord with all your heart and he will never leave you. He is our Rock and Salvation. He is there always. All you have to do is ask him to be in your heart. If you have a bible read Philippians 4:13.
Praying for you.
Thanks for the kind words and thoughts. Nina
You have brought hope and joy to so many with your writing. Having been off line for a few days the sadnes of your thankyou note was very deep. God speed your return to steady ground.
Thank you for the lovely thoughts. Nina
Nina, our lives are full of joy and sadness, celebration and tears. Learning to enjoy the fruits of our labors while we are on earth is a lesson that I think most of us need to learn. As long as we keep our eyes firmly focused on our eternal life with our Father we will get through. My heart and prayers are yours at this time.
Life is definitely a journey of many paths. Nina
Nina, I regret that I didn’t see this post when it was new. I’m wishing you generalized comfort and psychic refreshment, and non-specific joy.
Be here now? It’s good advice. Good luck to you.
Roxanne
The Good Luck Duck
It’s good advice indeed. Cheers ducks. Nina
Not knowing what sad news has been brought to you I can only offer you this….In my personal opinion, time is the healer of wounds. For Kelly & I it was the loss of 3 treasured family members in less than one year. Our dogs. I have struggled with bouts of depression as well & especially in earlier years. I found myself struggling once again as each of our Pals became sick, lingered briefly, and died. It has been a little over a year since we lost Max & Checkers & just a month since loosing our treasured little Motormouse. It has not been easy & I chose to share each of those losses through my blog. That has helped me work my through the grief. Not being a religious person, it is the passing of time that has always healed all wounds for me. Whether it be death, a separation, a divorce, a job loss or whatever kind of a loss that has saddened me, it was always the healing forces of time & understanding that brought me through……..AL.
I felt and shared those same losses with you on your blog. Your 3 doggies are forever in the hearts of all those who read about them. Thanks for all the kind words.
Nina
Nina
I regret that I missed the initial posting of your sad news–thinking of you guys and prayerful for more perfect moments to come–and, so very thankful, that even in your grief, you found the words and story to share so eloquently with all of us–as always you are an inspiration–following your journey has been a great source of inspiration and why I started my own journey a few months back
my thoughts and prayers are with you both
Thanks so much for the lovely thoughts and support. Nina
I fight with depression from time to time sometimes an unkind word or small slight will set it off or for no apparent reason this cloud of sadness comes over me. It follows me like a shadow it is there even if I don’t see it. For me action helps especially action to be a friend to someone else or to share a moment with others and I feel the grip loosen and its strength fade. Hopefully what ever is making you sad will fade also and you can be free of its grip again.
Depression is a shadow that follows all those who have dealt with it, so I certainly understand those feelings. Appreciate the kind tips and thoughts. Nina
Be free to be sad, angry and feel hopeless. Then, when the time is right, you will be like a butterfly emerging from a cocoon and fly again. My prayers are with you.
Thanks for the lovely sentiment and image. Nina
Nina,
What a touching and thought provoking blog. Now is always the perfect moment, isn’t it? Does living in the now come naturally for anyone? I’m sorry for your grief and I’m sending you strength, calm, peace, and hope to see you through.
I do believe it’s a struggle we all share. Thanks for the kind thoughts. Nina
We are thinking of you both…B&C
Thanks both. Thinking of you guys too! Hoping all went well in MI. Nina
Nina,
OMG, So sorry to hear of your heartache. You two have given us much to enjoy. Thank you again for your thought provoking post. I too have battled depression… life’s too colorful to ever go there. Time and lots of hard work will heal your soul, but the memory will always be there. We just need time to convert it to the “Happy Days” (daze? lol). TAKE the TIME you need to WORK THROUGH IT. Keep on enjoying everything. Look for joy everywhere and you’ll find it. You certainly will appreciate life more now. Life can be sooo tentative. Thank you for blogging such good information. I pray that you will continue to do so. We will be opening a special bottle of wine tonight in hope of a better tomorrow for all of us. You and Paul are in our prayers. May you heal quickly. Godspeed. Tears and CHEERS just skip the jeers.
Thanks for all the lovely thoughs and support! I really apprecaite it. Nina
Wow I appreciate your effort to write this post even if your in trials. I agree of what you’ve said that everything happens for a reason. I believe that trials or problem comes to make as strong, am I right?
They do indeed. It’s all a lesson in something. Nina
I am not going to even imagine what happen. I do know one thing TIME heals everthing. Because I have been there. You never forget but. ….With that said I wish you well.
God Bless,
Bob & Sandra
Time does indeed heal all. I do believe that. Nina
As I am still in the work mode, I have just now read this post. You have beautifully expressed the emptiness you felt and your writing and expressions and descriptions made Bernadette and I feel like we were truly experiencing that deeply personal moment with the both of you. We love our “juice” and what a “perfect time” it was for you guys to pop the cork. Our prayers for strength for the both of you are daily.
Pat & Bernadette
Thanks so much for the lovely thoughts and prayers! Nina
I remember this post. Now is the perfect time.
Happy New Year!