The Real And The Not Real
Are you on a suicide mission?? Freedom is that way!
Some days start differently, even in these Groundhog times and today was one of those days. I peeked my head around the kitchen door, adopting my most calming “this-is-totally-normal” smile (one can never be too cautious, these days…)
“So honey, what’s going on?” I asked, as nonchalantly as I could muster
“He won’t go outside!”, Paul replied in a rather exasperated tone, pointing his finger at what I could only be presume was the empty space by the window
“Ah yes, I can see that” I responded automatically, trying to put on my most understanding expression. Paul however, was not fooled
“The bee”, he insisted, moving his finger closer to a black & yellow speck on the window, “the bee won’t go outside!”
“Oh yes, I see him now!” I let out a relieved sigh “I thought you were going crazy there for a minute….”
When you spend a certain number of days totally confined indoors, say around a month or so, things start to whip around a bit in the ‘ol psyche and small, but potentially very strange things, such as talking to bees become part of the regular day-to-day. Yes, totally and completely normal in these times….
Abnormality & Normality
I’ve been thinking a lot about normality these days. What’s normal, or rather our “new normal” and also when “old normal” (whatever that means) might actually return. That’s a rather circular thought path, I do realize that, but sometimes it’s hard to see what’s past the here and now without a bit of imagination thrown in. What’s “real” today may literally not be “real” tomorrow.
Even the experts are having trouble with this.
As this COVID-19 virus peaks & countries start to re-open again (maybe in May?), everyone is hoping that things will get back to normal right away. But I personally fear that hope is premature. The re-opening is likely to happen very gradually, with monitoring/testing and potentially more shut-downs if things get out of hand again. And how all that will progress is almost impossible to predict at this time. So although some things may get back on track fairly quickly, I think travel & tourism could be restricted for quite a bit longer.
And honestly, I think that makes sense.
Here in Europe I don’t think anyone will be traveling freely cross-border until late summer, and even then it may stay mostly local (e.g. French staying in France) until fall or even the end of this year. In the US who knows….it all depends on the individual states handle it. So for LMB and our own RV travels, I think this virus is going to control our fate for a while.
So I Travel Virtually…
In the meantime I’ve been traveling in my mind. It’s an easy way for me to “get away” without ever actually going anywhere, and it’s something I’ve always done (and always assumed everyone else did too).
You see I spent a lot of my childhood alone for various reasons, so I developed a very intense & elaborate imagination. As a kid this meant I would spend weeks starring in my own brain narrative, traveling off to exotic places, meeting people, making friends, and creating complicated story-lines some of which would even flow into my dreams. I was a hard-core book nerd too (Sci-Fi & fantasy fiction mostly), so a good portion of that undoubtedly came from books, but I really just figured it was normal.
As an adult I’ve been lucky enough to make traveling a reality, but I still do the same mind-thing almost everyday, especially when I don’t have anything else going on, or I’m doing something mundane. I daydream intensely, and whenever I go somewhere I see & create stories in my mind. You could say I live somewhere between the real and the unreal, which I guess either makes me crazy or superbly creative. I like to believe the latter has the upper hand.
And it works a little like this….
The day before yesterday I went for my daily 1 km radius walk, a walk I’ve done around 34 times now, either in one direction or the other (I mix it up sometimes, just to make things exciting….).
On this particular day it was very windy and grey, the kind of day where everything feels like it’s just about to slip out of control. My hair whipped around my face, the wind howling in my ears and rippling across the fields of yellow rapeseed like waves on the ocean. The movement was mesmerizing.
Suddenly I was in Cape Blanco on the Oregon Coast. I was walking along the bluffs high above the Pacific, that same wild wind howling across the cape, past the lighthouse and into the thick forest by the campground. I saw the ocean, whipped up in angry white peaks, breathed in the salty air and felt the deep calm as a sigh left my body and released into the wind. That sound always brings me back to this place.
The wind changed as I walked into some trees, softening & speaking through the leaves like the whispers of ghosts. I flew to Denmark and found myself in the garden we used to have as kids. I was rocking in a hammock under the birch trees, the cool summer sun filtering through the leaves and the lullaby of the trees sending me to sleep. There was a smell of fresh-cut grass and a sense of deep peace and relaxation. This was a good memory.
Telephone lines whipped together, a rhythmic and sharp, yet deeply resonant sound much like that of ship rigging clanging together in a harbor. In the next moment I was in Winchester Bay OR, at the harbor parking in “the beast”. We had snagged the sweetest spot right by the water and Taggart was warming herself on her bed in the sun by the front window, the boats and water framing her in the background. I took a picture, and closed my eyes to listen to her purr and the boats making their music together. I miss that girl so very much it hurts my soul.
The wind deepened to a growl as I walked into the valley, the sound hollow and echoing as though through a massive canyon. I found myself in Arizona, on the rim of the Grand Canyon at dawn, the light just on the verge of moving from grey to pink. The very tips of the canyon fired in orange while her depths still bathed in deep hues of lilac and purple. There was no-one around except Polly, Paul and I, alone in all that vastness, the echo of the wind rolling through the hollows the only audible sound. Once again, I closed my eyes to take it all in and release my soul to the infinite horizon.
And then I was back, walking by myself along a little French countryside road and opening the gate to our house to step back into the real world. This is my life, every single day…
Real-World Distractions
I do live here in the now too…at least some of the time.
Of course our little garden is coming along. Our tomato plants have already doubled in size since I bought them last week, but they won’t go the ground until next month. There’s an old English saying that goes “Ne’er cast a clout till May be out” (basically it means don’t throw away your warm (winter) clothes until May is done), and for planting purposes that’s a really helpful tip. Hardier veggies can go in ground now, but the more delicate summer stuff (like tomatoes, eggplant, peppers, sweet corn, and cucumbers) could be killed by a late frost, so they should never go in the ground before May.
Our little seedlings are coming along too (juuuust popping out), plus we’re experimenting with some kitchen scraps. Yup, for those who didn’t know this, you can grow real food from the stuff you usually throw away. We’re currently growing celery from the bottom bit, just by sticking some toothpicks in it (to support it) and putting it in a glass of water. You can do the same with a bunch of other veggies such as onion, salad, garlic, potatoes and even avocados (although you might have to wait around ~10 years for the latter to bring you actual fruit). If you’ve never tried this, it’s a fun pastime that literally anyone an do. I highly recommend it.
And of course I keep baking. A few days ago, it was one year to the day that Paul and his dad set off on their epic Camino de Santiago hike. It brought back a ton of nostalgic memories for Paul, so that night I decided to surprise him with a Tarta de Santiago, a traditional almond-based cake scented with orange & lemon zest that pilgrims eat all along the trail. It’s moist & delicious and was a total hit. Plus it’s a nice way for Paul to remember the Camino without actually being there.
Ah yes, Food is yet another way to travel somewhere without actually going there…..
So that’s my journey for this week, partly in the real and partly in the not. Maybe next week I’ll take you online, or somewhere else for a trip. Or maybe you’ll hear it in the wind and end up going there yourself. I sure hope you do.
So do you travel in your mind? Where do you go when you do? And are you planning to grow kitchen scraps now (yes, yes….please say that you are!). DO share your thoughts in the comments below!
I also take a virtual trip everyday to the Southwest. We were to leave for the trip on March 21. Alas we are home in Vermont overlooking the Green MTS and the Mad River Valley. A very comfortable and relatively safe place to shelter in place. Today is Sunday, Mexican Hat, Utah and Goosenecks State Park was on the itinerary.
On warm & calm days, or days where the sunset is particularly intense, I’m right there with you. The Southwest lies deep in my soul, and I yearn for it often. There’s something in the desert that you can’t find anywhere else, and it’s so very special in it’s own right. Mexican Hat & Goosenecks, I see them so clearly right now. Hope you get there “in the real” soon.
Nina
Thank you so much for continuing your blog. I look forward to it!
Speaking of the joys and wonders of Fort Bragg, California . . . this is my 3-yr old post about it: https://lalaironwheels.blogspot.com/2017/08/californias-fort-bragg.html
Ahhhh….just LOVE Fort Bragg. Such a special place.
Nina
Beautiful post!
Hi guys! Great, as usual, to “see” you again. It was a fun trip with you, I could see, hear and smell all those places.
YES! I have begun to dabble in the kitchen scrap garden. To quote another blogger, “I may have just enough bib lettuce growing on my tiny core to make a small salad for Barbie and Ken”! Such excitement in the Bank household…..
At any rate, it will probably go into the garbage can next week when we pull up stakes and shakily begin our trek back home. Wish us luck!
LOVE that scrap quote….very good LOL. Hope your trip home goes off without a hitch. I’m sure it’s bittersweet to be leaving the SW at this time.
Nina
Thanks for the virtual trip back to Cape Blanco. We fist camped there over 40 years ago and the trees were small and the wind howled. Usually the campground would be empty by 9am the next morning as the wind was too much for some. We loved the place and returned many times over the years. The walks on the beach to the Elk or Sixes rivers with no one else on the beach. Our daughters loved the cottontail rabbits and picking wild berries.
It has changed since then and has become very popular but it is still a special place.
Small trees in Cape Blanco…I can barely imagine. They’re all so HUGE now! And I agree, it’s still such a magical place even with the added popularity. Thankfully it’s still quite far “out there” for most folks with not much to do except hike & see the lighthouse. For us that’s near perfection. It’s all we want/need for months!
Nina
Ah yes, I virtual travel quite a bit via travel blogs. I want to know where people go, where they stay/camp, what they eat, who they meant, things of interest and beautiful picturesque scenery. I look at exotic birds, animals, food and places. I travel by all modes of travel, sailing, flying, railroad, cycling, hiking, rving, road warrior type road trips. Some end in tragedy i.e. the two cyclist who get run over in Kyrgyzstan, Tioga George who died on the road, and the guy who quit using a wagon because his horse got hit on highway 95 near Lake Havasu…I think his name was Bob. I followed the young lady to did a solo sailing race using nothing but manual navigation instrument but got caught in a storm and her sail boat pitched end over end and was rescued by a Japanese freighter. She was third place until she hit the storm. I followed two young couple from Canada into Africa into Mexico. While camping in Africa, lions visited their camp at night…yikes!! The couple that were killed in Kyrgyzstan also traveled Africa via cycling and encountered a herd of elephants of which one was not friendly. I’ve been all over the world. I even followed three young men who traveled around the world spreading their father’s ashes here and there. I followed Ewin McGregor traveling Africa and around the world on motorcycles…the Russians tried to marry him off to one of their local beauties LOL. I also watch documentaries of different areas, different cultures and people, I visit space exploration virtually and love to watch Sci-Fi and real space travels to the giant planets i.e. Jupiter, Saturn and their moons. My imagination runs wild thinking about the vast universe we live in and how minute we are. I even traveled in human blood stream virtually through the human body…it’s a universe in itself…wow!!
As a Navajo, we are told that we are part of time and space and of everything in the universe and should have respect for all. Indeed we pray for the animals and plants we eat and use before consuming them. I think that’s why, I’ve always had my curiosity directed at space. In a dream, my father-in-law once told me, he traveled far and wide after death and never found the ends of the universe…there is no end. My mother came to me at night the day she died and I was afraid. She said don’t be afraid for I have come to check on you…I will stand so you can’t see me and frighten you….bam I woke up!! I was traveling in Vancouver Island when I dreamed I died…actually felt left my body into a totally different world in less than a second. I was angry. I angrily asked the first woman I saw if I was dead! She smile her mona lisa smile and zip in less than a second I was back to my self. I bolted upright from this dream in pitch darkness and was amazed at what just happened. People say you die if you dream of falling and hit bottom. Well, I have to say I’ve hit bottom more than once and at one time I turned to my children and said I love you to them before we went over the Clift and we all survived. I got out of the mangled car and thought – that wasn’t so bad. Too funny.
I count my blessings for all the years given me to live, experience, learn, and enjoy life. I was born on a dirt floor on Navajo reservation with no running water or electricity to parents who did not know how to read or write therefore I do not know my birth date. I acquired a delayed birth certificate after I graduated with a masters degree in finance as a member of Delta Mu Delta. My own travels have taken me far and wide within my own country plus Canada and Mexico. I’ve never traveled out side of the Americas.
I thank you for taking me along on your many, many travels and meeting folks i.e. RVSue and others along the way. I still follow many of the people you encountered while RVing in USA….and love your NYC trip. I love your trip with your dad to Paris and got to see areas that are not tourist traps and got to stay in hotel you stayed in. If I ever travel to France, I have a reference of what to see and do and where to stay.
Thank you for sharing all your memories. I can totally relate to the Navajo interpretation of space and time. I’ve always felt I was born in the SW desert, many lives ago, so perhaps I have some of all that in me somewhere. And I talked to my mother after she passed too. I do think spirits can choose to come back that way.
Nina
Thank you for your blog posts during this challenging time. Your blog is one of the few I subscribe to and is definitely my favourite. Your posts are thoughtful, interesting, inspiring, and full of practical advice – a rare combination.
We are fulltimers currently safely camped out our safe place with relatives in Canada. We plan to be here through the summer before we, hopefully, resume our travels.
Your advice a few weeks ago about “getting to where you need to be and staying there” was critical to our safety. When I read that, we immediately cut our plans short and within a couple days made it our safe place.
Thank you so much for writing those words just when we needed to hear them. They have made all the difference. Our situation could have been much worse.
Best wishes as we all ride this out.
I am really SO glad that I was able to help you make that decision to go to Canada. I hesitated for such a long time to write that post (an RV blog telling RVers to essentially stop traveling is a hard thing to do!), but I felt so strongly that I had to do something to try and persuade those I could to hunker down and get somewhere safe right away. I am beyond thankful that you, and others of my readers took that to heart.
Nina
Nina,
There you go and do it again… take me away, make me smile and make me cryi by cry a little, too.
I love your blog and what you do and I am often quoted these days as saying:
“Well, Nina says that in France, xxx happened, and we can expect xxx to happen here to, and dang she was right again!!”
THANK YOU for EVERYTHING.
Well THANK YOU so much for coming along on my blog trip. It’s lovely to have such great company 🙂
Nina
Of course you could plant crops earlier with a cold frame.
Ah yes. I’m not quite that advanced in my gardening (yet).
Nina
I like your story.
Beautiful and thanks
Well, I learned something today, I did not know that about celery.
It’s a fun little thing….lots of scraps will put down roots if you just give them some water. You can propagate basil this way too, and essentially have an unlimited supply throughout the year.
Nina
Our granddaughter and family living in Germany–husband is in the USAF–received word that the military ban on travel had been extended until June 30th. Laci and their daughter Lora usually spend a couple months in Montana each summer–John was coming along this year. Lots of disappointed people in Montana and Germany. I’m weary of the isolation, so weary.
That is good info and matches what I’d imagined might happen. Thanks for that. It’s very disappointing of course, but there’s not much we can do. And I agree…isolation is exhausting. It seems so simple, but it does play tricks on the mind.
Nina
Thanks for sharing and letting us know how you experience this time . Wonderful
Love your perspectives, Nina. We are doing better than many, I suspect. Although I am 67 and hubs is 75 and has a couple of underlying health conditions, we are retired and financially secure. I cannot imagine how this must be for those who still need to earn a living and are furloughed, or those who are on the brink of losing their businesses because there are no customers. Personally, I would like to see those who can, go back to work using safe practices such as distancing and masks. We old folk can stay home a bit longer. I am actually enjoying the time at home – more reading and baking – and our dogs are loving all the attention they’re getting. And yes, I’m going to try growing romaine from scraps as I’m trying to minimize my trips to the grocery store. Stay safe and wash your hands!!
I also worry about those without work during this time, and what will happen when the economy opens back up (will they all be able to find work again?). Jobless claims are up to their highest level in history, and many are struggling. It’s a extremely difficult time.
Here in France the plan is to re-open the economy in stages, with certain workers going back first (with proper safety measures). I hope it works as intended. We need to keep people safe, but people also need to work.
Nina
Yes, some people need to return to work and as the woman above said, we older folks can stay home a while longer. I don’t know what the answer is but when I saw that a large hospital in Kalispell, Montana had laid off 600 workers I was horrified. Let hospitals go back to doing elective surgeries before the hospitals all go under. I was being optimistic last night and checked plane tickets for a Mother’s Day trip from Montana to Arkansas–$1500 to $3000 with multiple stops! I had a meltdown, a sobbing, ugly meltdown. I so fear our world will never be the same.
I can’t even imagine the insanity of hospitals laying off workers, especially now. But of course if they can’t make money…I do hope we find a decent way out of all this.
Nina
Thanks for taking me back to those places I traveled with you in the past via your blog. I enjoyed it this time as much as I did then. Thank you for letting me be with Taggart again. I miss your adventurous little girl too. And Rand. Your celery in a glass made me smile. Just tossed mine. Forgot to water. Have two avocados pits rooting in water; a sweet potato growing vines in a sunny window; the root of a cabbage is birthing a baby. Planted the root of cauliflower, dang dog thought it was a toy. We do what we must to keep from going nuts. Please keep the blogs coming.
Avocado are so much fun to grow from pits, but you do have to wait ~10 years if you want fruit unless you can “trick” it into thinking it’s an older plant (apparently grafting works). Glad to see you’re having fun with all these scraps. It is indeed a good pastime for these crazy times.
Nina
Great post! One of your best. Oh yes, both of us reminisce about our past travels as full-timers while reading those of others. Because of all this “new normal”, our situation is a bit in reverse. Instead of dreaming about the desert southwest, we are actually hunkered down here. Who knew when we decided to have a winter “base”, and decided it would be quirky Quartzsite, Arizona, that we might actually spend a summer here? But that’s the plan. Typically, we’d be up north but everything is closed or being discouraged if you’re not a “local”. So, here we are. Staying busy with projects like restoring our 66 Mustang and painting our newly constructed mini barn. And as soon as she reads this post, I imagine we’ll begin farming in jars. 🙂
Wow….summer in Quartzsite! That will certainly be a challenge, although we have known other folks who’ve done that. Our first year on the road, we met a gal who spent every summer at Q, and she was in the boondocking area! I’m sure you guys are sensibly hooked-up, and Q is a very welcoming town. And hopefully it won’t be for the whole summer, and you can get on with your travels earlier rather than later.
Nina
Ya, we bought a 1/4 acre RV-oriented property in an established nice part of town. It is improved with a Kool Cover carport and built out Casita. We have multiple full hookups, city sewer, etc. It’ll be hot, but we’ll survive. And it could be a lot worse. And our BFF neighbors have an in the ground swimming pool.
Your Post generated a conversation between my wife and I, while we were on our daily walk around the RV Park here in Santa Fe, NM. I have been getting a little “cabin fever” today, so it was good to do a little mind traveling.
During our walk, we recalled all of the places that we visited during the past 12 months, many of them inspired by your blog posts and pictures over the years (THANK YOU!). We were fortunate to visit and spend bits of time at: Both the south and north rims of the Grand Canyon; in Bandon Oregon (BEAUTIFUL beaches to walk on); in Bryce Canyon; in Mammoth Lakes (at a wonderful campground along a river with 360 degrees views of the Sierras); at Diamond Lake (near the north entrance to Crater Lake); near Monterrey Ca; at Anza-Borrego State Park, and at Catalina State park in Tucson. We also scooted up to the Olympic Peninsula for the late summer and early fall (saw the wooden boat show in quaint and quirky Port Townsend).
What made many of these visits so special, were some of the hikes and drives – Up and down Rt 395 in the Sierras during the Spring, the drive from Lee Vining over Rt 120 into Yosemite (Breathtaking!), driving 100 miles south along Rt 1 from Carmel by the Sea via along the Big Sur Coast , the drive from Julian Ca through Anza-Borrego State Park, the drive on Rt 5 around Mt. Shasta in early spring when the mountain was covered in Snow and the sky was cloudless and the sun was out. We drove up Hurricane Ridge Rd (in the Olympic National Park) – up to visitor center (there was snow on the ground during September). And we spent a long day in July driving around stunning Lake Tahoe.
These are all memories (and pictures) that we will cherish, as we social distance and stay close to our home (perhaps for many more months). Thank you for inspiring us to travel to these places.
What WONDERFUL memories. Your comment re-ignited my memory of many of these places too, so thank you for that!! Big Sur, Hwy 395, Olympic Peninsula…ahhh!
Nina
Thank you for today’s journey, I enjoyed it so much.
Thanks for the pictures and news. That picture of Grand Canyon is really something; very nice! Good job!